Jan 20, 2009
Posted by Skid Vis on Jan 20, 2009 in Yadda Yadda | View Comments
A recent study by Harvard concluded something that seems downright duh-able.
Is it the study that concluded that men like to have sex?
Um.. no.. not quite. They concluded that happiness spreads over social networks. You see, they monitored several social networks and noticed that when people made happy posts, then their friends would be more likely to make happy posts themselves.. which would create a happiness wave, of sorts.
So.. let me get this straight.. Happiness makes people happy?
Exactly!
Ok.. now.. does unhappiness make people unhappy?
You know what? It does. The same study concluded that unhappy posts would also spread.. but luckily at a lesser degree.
So it IS possible for the unhappiness of one of my social network friends to make ME unhappy?
Um.. technically, yes.
Those a-holes!
Yes! So.. the moral of the story is this.. Misery doesn’t love company.. so keep your damned misery to yourself. I am at times unhappy.. you know, life has ups and downs. I try to not focus on the unhappiness and I definitely try to keep it to myself. Sure, I’ll tell a handful of people, but I try not to Twitter, Facebook, or otherwise broadcast my misery to anyone who’ll read it. The reason I do this is quite simple.. I don’t feel the need to burden everyone else with my issue unless they are able to fix it. I mean, seriously, what good does it do anyone to know that you’re unhappy about finding out your ex has a child and it’s not with you and you’re horribly miserable about it? Sure, you gotta vent.. but do that with your close friends, not the whole world! Sadness spreads and happiness spreads.. wouldn’t you want to be responsible for spreading happiness?
Yea, Happy Happy, Joy Joy.. a-holes.
Dec 22, 2008
Posted by Skid Vis on Dec 22, 2008 in Yadda Yadda | View Comments
It’s cold outside and there’s snow on the ground.. I’m sitting at work, hardly anyone’s around.
It’s that time again, for presents and gifts.. to gather with family and put aside tiffs.
To laugh and be merry with all of our friends, to recall the memories before the year’s end.
To plan for the next one that’s just bout to start, to be thankful for those that we keep in our heart.
I don’t work for Hallmark, so don’t give me any crap..
I’m just wishing you Happy Holidays, so let’s leave it at that!
Nov 12, 2008
Posted by Skid Vis on Nov 12, 2008 in Words of Visdom | View Comments
It only seems right that I should write this as my first post of November, and just weeks before Jim Carrey’s new flick, Yes Man.
So.. wut’s this all about? Paying for sex or something?
No. It’s about the word, that word. You see, I’ve been in several great relationships. Relationships that should have been perfect, but they weren’t. Something was wrong with them, and after much thought and analysis, the problem became so transparent that I can’t help but feel like a moron for not seeing it sooner.
Are we talking about your small penis? I can’t blame you for not seeing it earlier..
No! I’m still talking about ‘No’!
My brain hurts ..but go on.
You see, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I live in a world of fear. I find myself constantly thinking about things that can go wrong. This fear causes me to put off doing certain things in order to avoid feeling the fear. For instance, do I want to go to a family gathering with my significant other? No.
Why not?
Well, they think highly of me, so when I’m around them I have to walk on pins and needles so that my true personality doesn’t surface and I run the chance of offending someone, or saying/doing something so utterly stupid that I end up losing their respect and admiration.
Geez, that’s paranoid.
Yes indeed, and that’s just ONE situation! There’s plenty more.. wanna go skiing? No.. I might get hurt. Wanna learn to ride a horse? No.. I might look like a dork or get hurt.
I get the point.. you’re a chicken-shit! Move on.
Oh, right. Well.. I also noticed, however, that No’s can come back to bite us in the rear. Every time we utter those tiny, seemingly-insignificant letters, our partner is secretly stashing them in their own No-Vault. You decide to make a request and presto, there’s a ‘No’ fired in your face.. how’s that for ya?
When we’re children, one of the first words we learn is ‘No’. It serves a great purpose, we’re young and ignorant of the dangers all around us, so our loved ones use that to keep us from hurting ourselves or otherwise doing something we shouldn’t. That being, it’s no surprise that we don’t like hearing that word. Our feelings get hurt and, if heard enough, we distance ourselves from the source of that word.
No kidding? So should we just ignore Nancy Reagan and “Just say Yes!”?
um.. no. Something needs to happen, but I’m not recommending the drastic measures taken by Jim Carrey in his flick, but rather a careful, conscious evaluation of the reasons why we’re driven to say ‘No’. Before you fire that word off like it’s your name, stop and pretend you’re on the receiving end of it. We must choose our battles carefully in a relationship, and sometimes braving a situation simply to put a smile on your partner’s face will yield a lot more benefit for the two of you, as opposed to giving them fodder by adding another ‘No’ to the No-Vault.
That’s cool. So from now on you’ll think twice before saying ‘No’?
No. I’ll think thrice.
Oct 29, 2008
Posted by Skid Vis on Oct 29, 2008 in Words of Visdom | View Comments
Lately I’ve been fortunate enough to closely observe the Relationship Roles of several individuals, couples, and myself.
What is a Relationship Role?
As individuals, for the most part, we are responsible for our lives. We determine where we work, who our friends are, how we dress, where we eat, etc. We control our own destinies. In a relationship, however, our roles change. We instantly, or gradually, shift into one of three roles. I’ll call these roles: Fire, Earth, and Water.
Wicked! it’s like Captain Planet!
Um.. ok.. sure.
So what role are you?
Well, let me define the roles:
- Fire
- You are the head of the relationship. You make the decisions, You plan, and you guide. You control almost everything. Your partner either fights with you constantly, or hangs his/her head in defeat when you speak.
- Water
- You are the body of the relationship. You move with fluidity to whatever the head demands. You carry out the tasks and will stop at nothing to please the head. You have a handful of select “battles” that you will fight, but for the most part you are happy to trust the decisions of the head.
- Earth
- You are neither leader nor follower.. while at the same time being both leader and follower. You understand that relationship between two individuals require constant work, constant victories, and constant losses. Decisions are not made, they are negotiated and respected.
So you’re Fire, right? Cuz you’re so HOT!
Actually, right now I would probably say that I’m Water-Earth. Yes, it’s possible to be between stages.. we are in a constant state of change, after all. I’ve personally found myself in all three stages while in different relationships.
Fire’s the best, right?
Determining which is “the best” is not an easy task. Some individuals hate making decisions and are extremely content assuming the Water role. It frees them of any responsibilies and worries, they can just fully trust in the Fire in their relationship. That’s all fine and dandy. The problem exists when someone is Water who craves to be Earth but fears upsetting the Fire in their life.
The who and the what now?
I personally know of an individual who has been in a relationship for a really long time. Slowly but surely, this individual migrated from being the Fire to being the Water. Decades later, this person suddenly “woke up” to the realization that the life being lived was not the life desired. The immediate reaction was DIVORCE!
Luckily, after some soul-searching, that decision was retracted.. instead, communication was introduced. As I often advocate, it is essential for people in a relationship to be in constant communication. We should never let ourselves disappear! We may be acting as one while in a relationship, but at the core, we are two individuals. While both partners may not always agree on everything, that’s not the goal. The goal is simply to be aware of the individual needs of yourself as well as your partner, and to work cooperatively to support and manage those needs.
So the perfect relationship is an Earth/Earth?
Sure, In a perfect world. In this world, it’s a huge struggle to achieve that precision of balance. In any relationship, both partners need to give 100% of themselves.. dedication, honesty, consideration, and time. If you want to be single, be single. If you want a partner, BE a partner.
Oct 28, 2008
Posted by Skid Vis on Oct 28, 2008 in Words of Visdom | View Comments
From an IM with my buddy Jack Deus:
Skid Vis: awesome.. I wish someone woulda done it (started a college fund) for us
Jack Deus: why? you turned out fine w/o a college degree
Skid Vis: I shoulda turned out finerest
Why do I get the feeling this post is about college?
Cuz you, my friend.. are a genius. Which, of course, makes ME a genius too!
Which, of course, makes US insane!
True dat. Anyway.. College. Ever since I was a widdle boy, I remember hearing the common mantras: “Knowledge is power”, “Success requires a good education”, and even “Knowing is half the battle”. So, I dedicated myself to learning.. I’d steal schoolbooks from older kids to try and get a head-start on higher education and I’d also skip school and go hang out at the public library.. picking out seemingly random books to expose myself to topics outside of the normal school curriculum. Anything I could do so that I could be smart and end up living a better life than that which my family presented as the only option.. Poor, Dumb, and on Welfare, with the highlight of life being the days when we would get a giant block of Government Cheese.
That WAS good cheese.
Anyway, fast forward 4,369 years and here I am. Most people would consider me a success. I drive a new car, I own a house that’s too big for me, I make more than the average Joe, and people often ask me for advice and tips .. all without a College Degree. I’m not a genius by any means, but I’m the smartest moron I know. For the most part, I’m pretty happy of where I am in life.. but occasionally I wish I would have gone to college when I was young.
What’s the point of going to college?
Well, I can tell you what it’s not! ..Knowledge. See I’ve tried my hand at college.. I’ve tried time and again to get myself one of them fancy pieces of paper to show my smarts off and maybe get an extra $10k per year tacked onto my salary.. but every time I try, I end up dropping out because the instructors are complete and utter morons. I’ve actually had to call the Dean on some because they were ruining the minds of young, defenseless noobs. I even had one stop the final exam to ask ME if the questions were right.. which about 10 weren’t. It’s become cemented in my mind that “Those who can, Do. Those who can’t, Teach.”.
Um.. I severely doubt all teachers are morons.. moron.
So true that is, my friend. Certainly I expect the fine staff at MIT, Harvard, Yale, and the other well-established mind-factories of the world to be nothing but brilliant, and I exclude them from the group in question.
So don’t go to college unless it’s one of those places?
No.. GO TO COLLEGE! Regardless of whether or not it’s a fine mind-molder. See, the whole point of college isn’t what you learn.. it’s who you’ll meet. One thing I’ve learned in my 76,238 years of life is yet another mantra.. It’s not WHAT you know, but WHO you know. Have you ever walked past your boss’s office just to catch him kicked back, picking his nose, and you wonder “how did this loser end up in charge?!”. Well, odds are he knows someone who knows someone and THAT’S HOW! Where’d they meet? COLLEGE!
Seriously.. sometimes I think you have too much time on your hands.
That may very well be, but it doesn’t change the fact that what I’m saying is true. Forced Associations.. Schools, Clubs, User Groups, etc., that’s the key to ultimate success. The more you expose yourself to people (not sexually, even though that works too for some), the more you’ll be networking yourself and putting yourself in the position to pop into someone’s mind when an opening appears that you can fill (again, not sexually).
Oh.. ok.. so this post is about networking.. why didn’t you just say that?
Because, Networking is certainly one of the most important things you can do to get ahead, but college not only provides you with a place to network, it also provides you with an education. You’ll know more stuff, you’ll be able to use big words and confuse the layfolk, and even if you don’t meet anyone that can further your career.. you’ll have a spiffy piece of paper you can brag about, and at least people will assume you’re not a moron right off the bat.
